Words Matter

“You’re adventurous.”
“You’re such a careful thinker.”
“It’s ok if it is not perfect – stuff is rarely perfect on a first attempt.“
“I know you well enough to know you won’t give up.”

When I was younger, I had important people in my life who took time to tell me what they saw in me. They told me the traits that I possessed. They told me that they believed in me—even when they knew how much I had messed something up. They told me that they knew I could achieve some impact or reach what I was chasing after (and they would often wait until the moment I was ready to give up to pull me aside and remind me). They would not mildly suggest these affirmations to me. They would not halfheartedly propose an encouraging idea. They would speak these things into me with a determined conviction that often left me at a loss for what to say back. I did not know what to do with their words—other than to just hear them (and maybe begin to secretly believe).

The words I heard shaped me. They framed my thinking about myself, they defined my perception of my own ability, and they created in me a love of attempting difficult things. I am grateful to the teachers, the coaches, and the parents who used their words to shape my life in positive ways.

My hope is that we are creating a school in which we see what is really taking place in the lives of our students and that we intentionally speak affirmation into them. I do not suggest that we rely on feint praise —students are incredibly capable of identifying when an adult is being genuine and when he or she is not. I am saying that something significant happens when we slow down enough to see students the way that God might see them and then use words to encourage specific things in them. Whatever your sphere of influence may be in the lives of our students, I hope that you are reminded that your words to them matter—maybe more than you realize.