written by Dan Sarian
The Thanksgiving – Christmas corridor can be anything but “the most wonderful time of the year.” The expectations of the holiday season (a time for family, gatherings, gifts, joy, happiness) can trigger feelings of sadness, depression and disappointment due to heightened expectations of what the season is supposed to deliver. We need to be sensitive to our students (and one another) and enter into the challenges that this season can bring into hearts.
People buy into the notion that the holidays should be a picture-perfect Normal Rockwell affair, but that’s unrealistic for many of us. Among all the joys of this season, among the smiles and happiness, there are many who find this holiday painful and something to endure.
Some reasons for holiday depression
Holiday depression can be triggered by family dynamics:
- Having a family that is currently in crisis or emotionally disengaged.
- Being surrounded by people whose families are “healthy” or appear so.
- Being reminded of past losses, such as a loved one who is no longer living and is clearly absent at the dinner table.
- Health issues. Some families are experiencing disease, mental health issues, disabilities, undiagnosed problems, etc.
- Work related issues. Not everyone’s parents are “off” on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and, given our economic times, may be unemployed or under-employed.
- Military absences. Christmas is especially difficult for those families who have a loved one serving overseas on extended tours.
- Step-parent and sibling issues. The holidays often force split families together again, creating awkward and stressful scenarios.
- The stress upon families financially, shopping, crowded shopping centers, cooking, weather conditions, debt., etc.
Materialism
The expectation of receiving gifts also sets us up for disappointment. The “rush” of material expectations dies hard after the presents are unwrapped. It is truly more blessed to give than to receive!
Foreign Exchange Students
Students studying abroad, away from their home, can feel especially lost this time of year, being so far from home and loved ones.
Watch out for January
The let-down after Christmas can be very difficult to manage.
Physiological Reactions
Some of the depression found at this time of year is caused by a physiological reaction some people have to low levels of light. Fortunately, however, we live in sunny Colorado, but some are still affected by this issue (especially now that it gets dark by 5pm).
Questions to Engage Students in Discussion
- Can you recall an especially enjoyable Christmas experience? What made it so?
- What was your worst Christmas experience? What happened?
- How many of you find it difficult emotionally this time of year? What are the dynamics of your family life that might contribute to this?
- What are you “forced” to do this time of the year that your really don’t look forward to doing?
- Do you think everyone around you experiences “joy” this time of year? Why or why not?
- If you could ask Santa for just one thing (not material or financial) this Christmas, what would you ask him for?
- Does the birth of Christ make a difference in your Christmas experience?
Teaching Points
- You are NOT alone! Don’t believe the enemy’s lies that your experience is unique and that everyone around you is skipping happily through life. Identify the lies you may believe or obsess about. Take every thought captive in obedience to Christ! (2 Corinthians 10:5)
- Apostle Paul’s theology of despair and longing (2 Corinthians 4:8; 5:1-4) It’s despair, weakness, pain, grief and sorrow that swings open the door to our heart that exposes our true longing for God. It’s coming to terms with our own mortality that moves us to replace material treasure with our treasure in heaven.
- Get your focus off of yourself. The noise and hype of the Christmas season is all about getting, greed, toys and self-fulfillment. However, the true joy in life can only be found in losing oneself in Christ (Matthew 16:25).
- Get your rest. The body has been beautifully designed by God to “hit the wall” when the demands on us emotionally and physically have exceeded our capacity. We often see symptoms of fatigue, irritability, sickness, general weakness, etc. Pay attention to these symptoms. God built a Sabbath rest into our week for a reason.
- Pursue relationship. Healthy relationships! Ones that don’t drain or condemn you. Relationships that are “safe,” where you can express your frustration, anger or sadness and be listened to without judgment. Share your sadness or depression with someone else. Don’t walk this path alone. Draw near to the Lord. Please your heart before Him and focus on His gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ.
